What Scares Us About Relationship?

I am speaking about any type of relationship.  Parent/child, friendships, husband/wife, co-workers etc.  Relationship in it's best state means freedom.  Relationship should mean respect and or love in an unconditional way.  When we understand the meaning of unconditional then we can move closer to that freedom that we all seek.  The definition of unconditional is wholehearted, unqualified, unreserved, unlimited, unrestricted, unmitigated, unquestioning, total, entire, full, absolute, out-and-out unequivocal.  That is definitely a mouth-full of definitions.  Before we can be a good participant in any relationship we must work on our own definition of unconditional.  Unconditional is a terrifying word for most (me especially).   Sometimes unconditional doesn't make sense to us because we don't fully understand that concept. The fear that we face to be vulnerable and open our hearts up will usually back us off or make us run for cover.  The truth of unconditional is when things become difficult between you and the other party and you use your personal escape route from the fear of reaction from the situation. 

Before entering into any type of relationship, we must look in the mirror, examine our unrealistic expectations and learn to be true and honest with ourselves.  If we are going to be a success in relationship we do have to go to the unconditional academy and get educated.  We rely on what we have learned or seen as examples of how we live our lives, but if the examples we have relied on are dysfunctional then we become dysfunctional and pass that bad behavior on as we teach others.  I like the definition of unqualified.  Unqualified means we don't have the credentials to be unconditional but we definitely have the possibility of growing, learning and become fully qualified to give and receive unconditional.  Unlimited and restricted means the sky is the limit, having truth and complete openness with the other party will bring respect, safety and the relationship will blossom and grow even in the midst of difficulties.  We will have the trust and unrestricted ability to work on difficult issues together.  And, if you are married or dating, that faith in the unconditional non-judgment and confidence will give you both the peace to not have fear to talk and work on problems.  We will learn not to blame but work as a team, a partnership.  As the relationship grows we will be able to feel the warmth, security and the peace that "we can do it together".  We can get through anything.  We can build the relationship on wholeheartedness, unquestioning and total confidence in each other.

Let's put the definition of unconditional in our vocabulary, let's work on the true meaning and teach ourselves to be the person that other people can feel safe with each day.  Conditional is such a hard word to live up to, let's free ourselves and the ones who are part of our lives and get rid of that nasty word.  Learn to live a life with open arms and be UNCONDITIONAL everyday.

Instead of dwelling on all the problems and negative things that have happened to us in the past.  The things that bring on the fear of unconditional, we need to let go of the past, open our whole hearts and give, give, give.  The freedom from the pain will come as we change the negative to the positive.  Love unconditionally, share unconditionally, listen unconditionally, and build relationships unconditionally.  Peace can be found in unconditional and it will allow us to breath without anxiety.  We won't have to worry about everything anymore.  We will be able to find the rest we all so need.