My Sweet Little Letter

I woke up this morning to the most wonderful letter I have ever received.  I got a letter from my son who has been staying with me for the past two months.  He has had a very difficult life and two months ago, something devastating happened to him that no person should ever have to go through.  After the incident, he came to stay with me.  He felt very hurt, scared and rejected, I wasn't sure what I could do to help him because the circumstances were totally out of my control.  I decided just to love!

We had both suffered at the hands of the same person at different times in our lives so I understood where he was coming from so I knew neither of us were going to be able to change things.

As I thought about things I remembered the scriptures from Romans 12:10-12. . .10Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; "not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord;  12rejoicing in hope, patients in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; NKJV

Everything is out of my control, I hate to see my son suffer, but I can only show him love, pray for and comfort him through his trials.  And remember to give it completely to God.  I have tried to fix so many things in my life only to have them explode up in my face.  From now on, God has complete control, I'm not going to take it from him out of "prideful thinking".  Who am I to actually think I can fix things?

I am going to have peace in my life, I'm going to quit feeling guilty about everything that doesn't go well.  "Why do I think everything that goes wrong is all my fault?"  It isn't, satan puts that burden on me because he knows he can.  I'm not allowing it anymore!  Let things be as they may.

Love, prayer, peace, that sounds good to me.  I know Brandon and I together are healing and loving each other. We are not falling back into the traps of the past.  We love our family, but we can't force things to change.  It's completely in God's hands and that now gives me the peace I have needed for so many years.

The sweetest little letter from my son has given me the peace to know I am doing the "right" things.  Remember:  Love, Prayer, Peace!  Give your issues to God, he'll do you good by them!

My sweet little letter is very personal so I will give you a simple summation:  Thank you mom for loving me the way I am and making me feel safe and secure.

God loves me the way I am so that is the least I can do!  Remember in your own lives to "accept" people just as they are and love them unconditionally, if you are willing to do that, you will reap the sweetest rewards!

Fear To Surrender

Do you have fear to surrender your life?  Surrender can bring good change to your life, it can open the door to your "wildest dreams".  We constantly try to set out own paths and we waste so much energy trying to create our own plans.

If we are able to be obedient and surrender ourselves we will open our lives up to unlimited blessings.  Remember that fear comes from satan to restrict your life so you will be afraid to move closer to God's plan for you.  He will use fear so we will self-doubt ourselves and be unable to have positive progress.  And when you have a positive attitude about living a good life, he will create doubt from every direction so you will be too overwhelmed to move forward.

I have found that when this overwhelmed feeling comes over me, I need to step back, smile and say to myself, "No, I'm one step ahead of of you satan and I put my trust in Christ, He will pull me through any obstacle."  Fear used to be my middle name.  I have missed so many opportunities in my life because I was a slave to fear.  But just because I have been a slave to fear in the past doesn't mean I have to keep repeating this weakness.

Fear is a small word with large penalties.  It is capable of controlling every aspect of our lives if we allow it to.  God doesn't want us to have any type of fear in our life.  We are not able to be our "best" self if we allow fear to keep us from "living".  Satan is going to use fear to keep you from "surrendering" your life.  He will constantly throw problems and scare tactics into your life so you will re-consider your surrender.  As long as he is able to give you fear and self-doubt you will not be able to be free in Christ.  Don't allow him to rob you of all the wonderful opportunities God has for your life.  As long as God is in our life, satan can never defeat us!  Satan is going to trip us up, but get right back up, dust yourself, smile and say . . ."you're not going to stop me, God's plans are my plans".

Matthew 10:28-31 Jesus says. . .28And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul.  But rather fear Him who is  able to destroy both soul and body in hell.  29"Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin?  And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father's will."  30"But the very hairs of your head are all numbered."  31"Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows."

Jesus says - you need to fear satan only, he is the only one who can kill your soul.

Let's learn to fear the right thing and have no fear in life.  Give God the respect He deserves by allowing Him to handle life's fears.  Don't give satan any respect by having fear.  Jesus died for you because He loves you, He is going to protect you if you are willing to trust Him.  Have No Fear!

Full Potential

Are you reaching your full potential in life?  What is your potential, what is your personal goal?

Have you ever had a plan of what you would like to do with your life, where you want to live and who will be in your life only to find out that nothing is coming together?  Well, don't lose heart!  If you're putting forth effort to accomplish a goal and things just aren't working out, don't get frustrated.  Just step back, take a deep breath and analyze the situation.

Did you realize that God has a specific rewarding plan for each and every one of us and more than likely, the reason your plans aren't working out is because God's plan is so much better for you.  I know we have all done it, been upset that something didn't work out as planned, but later on we were very grateful it didn't.

I know I get certain ideas in my head of what I want to do in my life only to find out that that plan is not good for me.  I know God has called me to do something special for Him and I am excited to try and develop myself through Him and as I allow Him to guide me, I am understanding that God has my best interests in order so I should not be afraid to attempt anything.   I don't care what others think because the bible says it won't be easy and that you will have people putting you down and saying you are crazy, but, oh well, no one will think I am crazy on judgment day.  That is the day I am waiting for, I have no fear.  Are you able to say that?  God needs me to totally rely on Him and work through all the obstacles placed before me.  If I trust and grow as I go along than each day I will be a little better and move on to the next obstacle.  With each hurdle we cross we genuinely do come across with more strength and less fear.

As I continue on, trusting Him completely and doing my best to live up to my full potential, then He will allow me to start my work for Him!  Always remember to be humble and give Him all the glory, because if you don't, he will do the "humbling" for you and trust me, that's no fun.  I still haven't always "learned my lesson".

I had a big life lesson a few years back.  I got the news that I was very sick and would not be able to do the job that I loved for so many years.  I became depressed, gained alot of weight, played a big "pitty party" for myself and didn't do much of anything.  About two years ago, I made a decision in my life that has changed everything, God had another plan for my life and though it's been a big adjustment for me, I count it a blessing!

I had been a workaholic all my adult life thriving on few hours of sleep and what was it all for?  Worldliness!  Houses, cars, camper, motorcycles, furniture, clothes, you name it, everything worldly.  What a waste?  I spent all my energy on "things"  and I am so ashamed!  I definitely got "humbled" an oh, how grateful I am for that!  I live a simple life now with God as the "driver" in my life.  I have time to care, love, write, lead people to Christ, study, teach and be there for those in need.  It don't get no better than that!  As I reflect, I find the more I do for Him, the happier I find my life to be.  2 Corinthians 12:9 says. . .And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you for my Strength is made perfect in weakness".  Thank goodness for that!  I pray that in my weakness, God can develop a successful obedient person who is focused on a more meaningful life.  I hope you take a look at your life and decide whether you are satisfied with the way things are going.  Don't be afraid to make better choices, you'll never regret it!  God has a specific plan for you.  Don't push your way, listen to Him and slowly fall into your destiny.  We were put here on this earth not for ourselves, but to worship and please Him, he has allowed us to do everything for our enjoyment and our choices lead us to death.  Prioritize your life according to Him and I know for a fact that you will be satisfied!

That's Not Good Enough!

Do you sometimes feel like you can not "do enough" to be "good enough"?  I think christians sometimes forget that we don't live under the old law of the 10 commandments where when people made mistakes they had to make atonement with animal sacrafices.  People of that day were constantly living in fear of doing wrong, they worked very hard day in and day out, but could never achieve perfection.  They always felt that if they didn't live perfectly, they were in trouble with God.  There were specific rules and regulations that they were expected to live by.  God knew that this option wasn't working so He gave us the ultimate sacrafice of His Son to change all this.  2 Corinthians 3:17 says. . .Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.

God needed us to achieve perfection so we could live with Him through eternity, but He knew we could never achieve that on our own so He gave us Jesus to be our "One and Only Perfect Sacrafice" so we wouldn't have to go crazy trying to be perfect.  He gave us repentance through prayer to ask for our forgiveness, and if you have accepted Jesus through baptism, this is an "Ultimate Gift".

I sometimes wonder why some Christians try to take us back to the Old Testament Law days of demanding for perfection, making us terrified to live life.  And having some stand back in judgment feeling "full of themselves" while destroying other's journey to be "happy in Christ".  Ephesians 2:8.9says. . .For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves it is the gift of God, not of works, least anyone should boast.

We all make many many mistakes everyday and I am sure that is never going to change.  It hurts me when I am told about someone's experience with church or a "so-called" christian has been cruely judgmental and how many christians are unapproachable.  I hate to see that distorted view of most of us.

We all need to be more kind, if we offend others, how does God view us?  I want to be a fulfilled Christian who knows she makes mistakes and that I can be forgiven by God, not by my "so-called" judges.  I am spending my life serving God and I am not going to allow people's opinions to discourage me.  I want people to see God as a loving, caring, easily approachable God, and I'm going to do my best to present Him that way!

Take a look at your own approach towards people.  Don't make church seem boring and stuffy, it's not, it's an awesome experience with a great loving network of caring people that most people would love to be a part of.  If church isn't rewarding to you, re-examine yourself, spend time in the word, go to God in prayer (and I don't me repetition, He wants you to talk to Him about everything, He can't help you get close to Him if you don't communicate, He can't help you with life if you don't approach Him,  He is a wonderful untapped awesome resource and people go through their lives miserable because they have no direction.  Ask Him, he'll surprise you on your journey).  Let's remember that we are God's representatives, don't act like you are perfect, that's a mockery to God's precious Son who died because we are not perfect.  Admit when you do wrong and let others know the reason you are a christian is because you know you are a sinner and need Jesus as your Savior.  I hope this will stimulate "new thinking" which will lead to a "new attitude".  Let's change the opinions of so many so we can do what we are told to do.  "Go ye therefore into the world preaching the gospel (the good news) that we can be forgiven and spend eternity with Him.  That is truly the GOOD NEWS!

How Could I Possibly Accept Myself?

When we feel insecure and worthless we have trouble processing that there are so many good qualities about ourselves.  In Genesis l:31 it says. . .Then God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good. . .

If God said everything was good then for sure you can believe that he made you GOOD!  What we do with our lives is where the true self-worth comes from.  The daily grind doesn't make life feel fulfilling and sometimes we burn out under daily pressures.  One thing we want to realize is that if we reject ourselves, nothing changes, we just feel down on ourselves if we are accepting of ourselves, we will begin to be able to break down barriers and start to be able to deal with anything.

If we are going to change, we have to face the truth about ourselves.  Think about how important you are to your family and friends, at work, school, church.  We usually have a distorted opinion of ourselves, we usually look negatively on ourselves and that causes us not to be able to move forward.

Women have a tendency to over give of themselves, they feel like they need to always be a servant and if they want to do something special for themselves, it would be selfish.  You can be a servant without draining everything from your being.  You are specially made and you deserve happiness in your life.  Stand-up for yourself, you are special and if you are more complete in yourself, you'll be more complete in your job, family, and church.  Never allow abuse to overtake you-it will destroy your spirit!  Don't think that you have to put up with it, God did not intend for you to be hurt!!!!!!!  He will guide you if you will allow.

Proverbs 3:6 says. . .In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.

HE WILL!  He will use you if you allow.  I know, I am one of the lucky ones who got a second chance.  I have many opportunities to speak to ladies, help and love others.  I thought my life was over two years ago from abuse but I looked up to God and begged him to help me from my circumstances.  He did and I have never looked back.  With faith, repentance and perseverance my life has blossomed into an unlimited opportunity.  I love waking up every morning and asking. . ."Lord, what are we going to do today?  And I wait in anticipation.  I go to bed at night feeling fulfilled because He uses me in so many different ways.

2 Corinthians 12:9 says. . .And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My Strength is made PERFECT in weakness".

See, it doesn't matter if you're at the bottom of the barrel, He can still use you and wants to use you.  Don't make your own plans, let Him lead the way.  You will find that His way is much more exciting that your own.  Today is the day!

It's A New Day

Let's find contentment from life's struggles by using God's word.  Where have you been in the past?  How can we learn from our mistakes?  And how can good come to our current lives from mistakes of the past?  God gives us the tools in His word to equipt us for every struggle we may face.  Researching His word can give us a proper direction.  Life is too difficult on our own, we do need help.

Proverbs 3:1-4 says. . .My son, do not forget my teachings, but keep my commandments in your heart for they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity.  Let love and faithfulness never leave you, bind them around your neck, write them on the tablets of your heart.  Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.

It doesn't matter where you have been in your life, there is always a turning around point, you just have to be willing.  Don't feel hopeless, it's going to get better!  You are loved and wanted.  It can be very difficult sometimes to understand the concept especially if you have never experienced love in your life, but there are many promises in the Word that He will always be there for you, love you and you can't go wrong with that!

Perfect Love

I understand how to love and care about others, but what about myself?  I don't really know how to love and respect myself.  Why should anything good happen to me I'm not deserving?

In Galatians 5:14. . .the law is fulfilled in one word:  "You shall love your neighbor as yourself"!  That command covers everything, the only problem I see is "what if we don't understand the concept or love ourselves"?  That is one reason why we need to study the word and open ourselves up to a new understanding of God's love.  There is no one who really understands love as God knows it so we have to trust Him.  God may not like our behaviors but He separates himself from our mistakes while continuing His love for us.  If you've experienced being loved in your life unconditionally, regardless of your mistakes then you can better understand the concept; but, if you have been shunned, ignored, attacked or criticized for your mistakes you may have difficulties expecting someone to have unconditional love for you.

I John 4:18, 19 says. . .There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment.  But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.  We love Him because He first loved us.

If we have true faith in God we can put people's shortcomings aside and allow God to show us what love should be if we allow it.  He will protect us, give us comfort, and make us feel safe.  We can learn love from Him then we will be more equipped to pass it on.  We can begin to heal by opening our lives up to others.  Let others see God through you.

Another important point to remember is that God is still working in us everyday and that we are not "perfect" we need to love ourselves as God loves us.   We will not always be this way, but as we grow and mature in Him we will get better everyday.  Remember to overlook judgmental people, they can be hurtful and cause us to stumble.  They don't know your heart God does.  Stand proud, do your best and God will do the rest!

Facing The Truth

I would like to recommend a book that has helped me face the truth about myself.  I have spent my whole life trying to receive love and approval and have never been able to be "good enough" or "perfect enough".

I have had an eating disorder since my mid 20's and I thought I just liked to overeat (gain then lose, gain then lose) but reading this book brought out so many uninvited feelings that I finally faced what was going on with me.

I am naturally a good person, yes, I have made many mistakes in my life, but most of them were because I was trying to have "a voice" for myself.  I've never been allowed to be who I want to be, I have to fit a "perfect" mold which I am unable to do.  I love God and want to serve him, but "I am not perfect"!

The book I want to recommend is :  When Food Is Love (Exploring the Relationship Between Eating and Intimacy) by Geneen Roth.  I realize that I don't like myself very much so I go to food to calm myself and by "getting fat" protects me from getting hurt by a man again.  When I lose, I feel on top of the world, but losing changes nothing.  I am constantly self-sabotaging myself.

I always choose to help others, voluntering for anything needed done so people will approve of me.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy helping people, but there is a line to draw between "helping" and "getting approval".  If you are an "approval seeker", "over-eater" or under-eater, this is the book for you.  Be prepared to cry and experience many different feelings about what you read.  Facing the truth can be brutal as I know, I had to put the book down many times and take a deep breath.  I hope this helps you!

I found after reading it and dealing with my feelings, of course, I wrote about it, but I was able to look at food in a different way.  I'm sure I am going to struggle for a long time, but one foot forward, is not a step back.  Good-luck!

Life Is A Big Test!

I went to church this morning and had many opportunities to visit with friends.  One thing I found in common is that something was hurting them in their life.  I've had two friends specifically on my mind since our conversations and it's sad to say that life is definitely a big test of courage and strength!  There are so many things and loved ones that seem to test our love everyday and we say to ourselves "What did I do to deserve this?"  We find that the ones that love us the most hurt us the most!  Satan knows how to knock us down, I've lived some of their same struggles, but we have to always remember that Jesus always has our back during any crisis that may arise.  Satan will use our weekest flaws against us so we will hurt and lose our self-worth, he knows every trick in the book!  Don't fall for it!  Remember that God will not allow us to endure any more than we are able, and if we persevere in our struggles, we come out stronger and with a new perspective on things.  Life does seem like a big test of our self-worth with the way others treat us, by the things we own, if we have a great job, you name it, our society has created the monster and when I speak of society, I'm referring to satan's influence on our culture.  He stands back and laughs at us trying to keep up with the Jones' and working endlessly to pay for things, knowing that if we have all our time filled up with worldly things, we won't have time to serve God.  So just remember who the real enemy is here, don't fall into the trap.  Learn to do without things, spend more time with your family and love people unconditionally!  That will help you deal with the stresses of life.

Also, remember not to be the martyr.  You have the right to do things for yourself (within reason) God wants us happy and we don't have to be pennyless to be a good christian.  Just remember you can enjoy life yourself.  Moms and Dads both need to relax, recharge, and renew.  Don't feel bad when you do something good for yourself!!!!!!And remember to do something nice in God's honor also!  Take care!